FRIDAY, JANUARY 08, 2010

So, on December 24, 2009 I finally created...a Facebook account.

It was in the nick of time so that some of my cousins could lovingly give me shit about joining...I responded with...well, what the hell Merry Christmas!

After Thanksgiving, I started to do research like the nerd I am.  On Twitter I asked people their reasons for joining.  I talked to a few coworkers - all with different levels of activity on FB.  I found out there were even more pictures of my friend's cute cute baby on FB.  And another friend who I thought would never join...reminded me that she did briefly to just check some pictures out of a friend who lived abroad...then was "friended" right away by others so she never bothered to close the account.

I think what finally sent me over the edge is that the majority of the people I love don't live anywhere near me.  So - for all of you out there...I joined because I miss YOU.

See you online!  :-)

Blogged by JePez on Friday, January 08, 2010 at 7:33:10 PM EST

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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2009

Do you remember back in the day when your best friend had to move away for whatever reason and you were bummed out because your playmate in the sandbox was gone?  Well – I’m experiencing that again for the 3^rd time in a little over a year and a half. 

The first buddy to leave my sandbox moved away for a great job opportunity in a city he had always wanted to live in.  He’s happy to be closer to his family and friends, and owns a great home in a cool part of town. 

The next buddy left for one of the best reasons of all – to tackle the tough but rewarding job of a being a mom.  I couldn’t be happier for her & her husband and am very grateful to be part of their West coast family (they are transplants too). 

Another coworker leaves this week – the first friend I made when I moved up here.  I will forever be grateful for efforts to make me feel welcome and easing my transition to the Bay Area (she let me whine about missing Meghan those first few months). 

On one end of the spectrum coworkers can be the people you just share your professional life with and nothing else.  If they suck coworkers can also be a source of stress and pain that drives you away.  And then there is the happy medium where you have people to chitchat with on breaks or have lunch with but don’t really spend time with outside of work.  If you get lucky you find find some good friends that you keep long after you leave your place of employment.

I remember a conversation I had with a bschool classmate when I claimed that I just saw my classmates as “just coworkers”.    He was a bit offended and it took me a while to “warm up” and understand why.  I guess this was at the beginning of school and had not found my comfort zone so I was just trying to protect myself.  Looking back I see that it was a stupid comment because some of those folks not only became friends but my family in Tucson.  And with that comment, I discounted the friendships that I already had that spawned from sharing workspace for 8-9 hours a day.

This blog has allowed me to say what I want to say but, just like with any social network activity, I’ve kept this under wraps with folks I work with (one exception only – the person was genuinely interested in what made me tick and that compelled me to send them the url).  At work I can be somewhat guarded and only let a few people in (as open a book as I sometimes seem) so they only find out about jepez.com after they leave.

Some you reading this blog may be one of these former coworkers that I have been lucky enough to call a friend.  Thanks for joining me in my “sandbox” outside of the confines of work!   J

Blogged by JePez on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 at 1:21:14 AM EST

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THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2009

I get so many invitations to join Facebook, before that it was MySpace and before that Friendster and LinkedIn.

Of all the social networks out there, I've joined the following:

LinkedIn - I worked for the person who invited me (summer intern during b-school) and he happened to be on LinkedIn's Board of Advisors.  It seemed like a cool concept and has been a great way for me to keep up with former employers, coworkers past and present, classmates and friends.

MySpace -  After a weekend with the cousins where the peer pressure was "on", my sister went ahead and created an account for me and Meghan.  I have to admit it was nice to keep up with my family in San Diego using this network.  I got be in the loop and see pictures - which made me miss everyone more but it was great to have access to anyway.  After a while - even before folks started spending more time on Facebook, our activity on it faded - logging in every few weeks which, in the world of social networks is like an eternity.

Twitter - Surprising huh?  Yeah, I actually joined this to follow a coworker who was going on a 2 and a half week trip to Europe.  It was pretty cool to "follow" along but as soon as I joined, I found a lot of people to "follow" and others found me...then I was stuck.  However, I like it, I can update when I want which is about 1-2 times every couple weeks right now.  What's great is that others update a hell of a lot more than I do - it's a fabulous way to cyberstalk your friends.  :-)

So why not Facebook?  To put it simply - it just feels like to much work.  I'm sure it's an awesome way to stay in touch with friends and family near and far but it seems like you have to constantly update with pictures and what you are eating at that moment or where you are going.  Now, judging from the many periods of fits and starts with THIS blog, obviously I'm not good with the constant updates.

As it is, it takes FOREVER for me to get pictures from my camera to my computer...and then a few more months to make it to the web.  So how can I keep up with everyone's pictures of what they ate that night??

Also, I've got this website and blog so what do I need Facebook for?  j/k

I'm not discounting the value of keeping in touch with family and friends over Facebook but I just don't have the desire or curiosity to join.  For now I'll stick to "old school" emails and text messages.  Feel free to use one of these two methods of communication in addition to Twitter (@jace710)!!

Blogged by JePez on Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 2:36:58 AM EST

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MONDAY, APRIL 13, 2009

I've been bitching a lot lately on this blog - which is fine since I can say what I want here - but I think it's time for something positive.

Today was our "Easter-versary" or put simply our 6th anniversary on Easter.

Meghan and I had a very nice day:  went into the city for Easter service at the beautiful Grace Cathedral, had a late lunch back in the East Bay and then just came home and hung out (the next few weekends are all full so it actually IS a treat to be home).

We didn't do anything fancy or extravagant, we just wanted to be together.

So, finally something good coming out of this blog - you just read that two people, who love each other very much, got to spend this beautiful day together on their favorite holiday!  :-)

Blogged by JePez on Monday, April 13, 2009 at 1:16:43 AM EST

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SUNDAY, MARCH 29, 2009

April 15th is right around the corner - a little over 2 weeks left until taxes are due.  I'm happy to report that all taxes are the Perez-Tedesco household are finished.

What's different this year is that because we are in a Registered Domestic Partnership - in the State of California, we had to file as either married - joint or married - separate!  So for those fools out there who think all gay people are trying to have all the rights of marriage without all the crap that goes with it...SCREW you...WE are already subject to some of the same financial consequences (and sometimes hopefully the rewards) as a working, married couple.  Strangely enough - Meghan and I are excited to do so.

BTW - a special thanks to our married friends whom I asked for advice.  You didn't blink when I asked about whether to file joint or separate (when you found out that we had to file as married in CA) and tried to help as much as you could.  :-)

For those of you who don't know - I do all of our taxes.  Last year was a nightmare.  I had a total of 6 sets to do!  In 2007, we both had lived in 2 states (as for W-2s which are a bitch to enter - 2 jobs each).  Argh!  This year we were down to 3 sets!

I understand the benefits of using a tax preparation service like H&R Block or your accountant.  However, Meghan and I don't have complicated taxes so, for right now, I can't justify paying someone else to do them.  And just because I went to b-school, that does NOT qualify me to do anyone's taxes.  This is a common misconception - just like, just because you are an engineer does not mean you can fix my t.v.  Go to an tax preparation service or an accountant (preferably a CPA).

I try to minimize what I pay for the e-file fee so I use TurboTax and TaxAct - simple interface and reasonable fees.  I'm also cool with mixing and matching.  This year it turned out better to use TurboTax for Meghan's federal filing and our joint state filing.  I used TaxAct for my on federal filing.

What we had to do was in 3 parts:

1)  Prepare separate federal filings

2)  Create a 3rd account in TurboTax so that it (along the way to the State filing) creates a fictitious federal filing for us as a married couple. 

3)  Use the info from the combined fake federal filing to compete our state taxes.

I usually zip through of our filings in about an hour each (1 for all of Meghan's and then another hour for my own).  I've never taken so long - took me over 3 hours!!!  But, it was all worth it!

I won't get into specifics as to where we landed but...I have to agree with my friend's husband Al - the taxes for married folk don't make sense sometimes!  You'd think that because 2 people are working that the allowances or whatever are double...alas they are not.  We too got kinda screwed but as I said, I think this year we are happy to just participate in the system, the way we've wanted to all along. :-)

If you haven't already - get your shit together and get your taxes done dude!  You'll feel better knowing they are over and done with!

Blogged by JePez on Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 12:00:12 PM EST

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TUESDAY, MARCH 24, 2009

c

So I'm writing this partly because I'm tired of answering this question and tired of defending our decision to...as of now...not buy a home.

Here is a disclaimer, anybody with half a brain knows that owning a home is the best investment possible.  It's better than stashing money in a bank, buying stocks, mutual funds, etc.  It can provide a lot of financial, emotional and mental stability as you go through all the different stages of adulthood.  It's great to do whatever the hell you want to the walls and the floors, decorate the rooms, landscape the yard, and no one (as long as you can make your payments) can kick you out or raise the rent on you.

If it's in your life plans (you want to own a home before you have kids, get married, etc.) and you can afford it...then you should totally do it.  Now, when I say afford to buy a home this means you can actually make a decent down payment AND it doesn't stretch your monthly income so far that you are screwed if an emergency comes up.

We understand ALL of that and hope to one day reap the rewards that come with home ownership.

Now, having said that we aren't in the market to buy a home and we are actually being responsible (interesting concept these days) by not doing so.

First - we do okay for a couple here in the Bay Area but it's pretty expensive to live up here, so whatever we take home doesn't go as far here than if we say, stayed in Arizona.  Transportation, eating out, entertainment and yes shelter all cost more.  For those who don't live in the area or bought their homes more than 5 years ago - you might be shocked as to what it takes to live in a safe, decent area with all the stuff you want either in your home or close by. 

Second - we can't throw down for the (now) absolutely required down payment...we owe someone called Sallie Mae for student loans.  If it were just one of us, that's one thing, but both of us having loans is another.  We understand that it's "okay" to have this kind of debt on the books when buying a home but...that's just not something we want to deal with. 

When the time comes, we would like to do the "old school", 20% down, 30-year fixed mortgage that our parents' generation have.  None of this bullshit fancy, schmancy, creative financing where the payments go up after x number of years (not that anyone does these too much anymore).  We want to do this comfortably and not have to worry about Sallie.

Third - unlike many of our generation we will not access the "Bank of Mom & Dad".  For anyone who knows my parents - they are very generous people who have offered - yet their oldest daughter still says "thanks but no thanks". They gave me everything I needed growing up, including paying for college.  My parents worked hard for everything they have and am delighted they can enjoy the fruits of their labor.  The bottom line is - I'm 32 years old, educated and have the capability to provide for me and my future family to live comfortably...  I'm not going to take money from my parents if I can help it.

Going back to the affordablity issue - a home we would want here in the Bay Area would result in a monthly mortgage that would make most people's head explode.  Other than the rest of the West Coast and NY, we live in an area that is beyond ridiculous when it comes to what you have to throw down for a nice 2-3 bedroom home with decent square footage.

To further illustrate our point:

A home in the Oakland Hills (Rockridge) with 2 bedrooms, 2 bath, 1400 square feet... $695,000

A home in North Tucson with 2 bedrooms, 2 bath, 1400 square feet...$149,900.

CRAZY!

The fact we take into consideration & handle all of our current financial responsibilities and then come to the conclusion that we can't get into the "buy our own house" game...makes us smart...not stupid...like some people make it sound and sometimes make us feel.

Isn't part of the damn problem is that people who shouldn't have purchased homes...went out and got themselves into mortgages they would not be able to afford?

It amazes me that people are so surprised we are in such financial shit.  How much sense does it make that people who made average income, were able to put $0 down and own a $500,000 home????  Sure, that's extreme but the numbers aren't too far off.  We had way too many people in the situation -whether it was because of shady loan officers or bad decision making.

A friend put it very simply and accurately when he said that, while we all have the right to shelter (a safe, decent place to live), not everyone has the right to home ownership.

We agree and won't be stupid and add to the problem.  Where is our bailout money for doing the right thing???

Blogged by JePez on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at 10:53:38 PM EST

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WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 2009

As you can see on the homepage, my heart will always be in San Diego.  I love my hometown and am very proud of it!  The weather is wonderful, diverse, there is a lot to do, the people are friendly and of course, it is home to the many friends and a family members I have been blessed with.  

I am a die-hard Chargers fan (since 1996 - no fair weather fan here) and bravely wear the gear here in Oakland.  I am so grateful for my parents making the big move to raise me and my sis as proud San Diegans.

So why am I living up in the San Francisco Bay Area?  I have so many people ask that question knowing how much I love SD. 

The answer is that my life is up here right now. 

There is a lot of career opportunity for me and my better half, a lot of culture and stuff to do, we love the weather and it's interesting living near one of the country's busiest and largest cities.  I like the vibe of the Bay Area - it's actually a bit hard to explain.  I just feel like this is an ideal environment to nurture the creative, entrepreneurial or curious side of you.

I think also, part of it is that I too caught the bug and excitement of having left my comfort zone and built a new life in another place.  I am doing it a second time in my adult life, but I have the extra added adventure of doing so with my love and partner in crime, Meghan.

About five and a half years ago at age 26 I finally really left my hometown and moved to Tucson, AZ for school.  I didn't know a soul other then the admissions rep that I interviewed with in L.A.  Within 2 weeks (obviously with the structure in place for me to meet people) I started new friendships and found another level in myself academically and professionally.  Although I missed everyone terribly as well as the more mild weather SD has - this was the best decision I had ever made in my life (at that point).

You can live in the most fabulous part of the world but you will never truly love and appreciate it until you've left it and come back to visit or stay.  If all you know is where you are, then how do you know what you are missing?

Granted I did not by any means move to another country or another coast.  Arizona is right next to California (check a map if you don't believe me) so if the shit hit the fan I could get home by car in 6 hours (5.5 hours on a good run).  However, I was only able to visit home every 3-4 months and, Arizona is a lot more different than I thought.  One state over but a a surprisingly different vibe (another post if I choose to expand upon this).

Anyways, there is something to be said for picking up and leaving and effectively starting over.  You figure out what you like and don't like in where you live.  What you like and don't like in the type of people you surround yourself with. 

It also sort of shows you what you are made of.  Can you handle figuring out where everything is in a city, the best route to get to work on time, the public transportation system, where to get your hair cut, your dry cleaning, how to dress appropriate to brave the weather, etc.  Do you stress out and give up or do you ask strangers or your new coworkers where to go?  Do you take the adventure on and get lost only to find your way home again?

I also continue to be blessed with new and wonderful people in my life.  No matter how old we get, isn't it fun to make new friends and experience whatever stage in life you are at with these new people?

So...would I ever move back to San Diego?  I would never rule it out.  It will always be on the table, but for now, we are having fun constantly discovering new things in the  place we are currently calling home.

If you are ever in the area - we would love to share what we've discovered thus far with you.  Just give us a heads up with a friendly email or call ahead off time!  :-)

Blogged by JePez on Wednesday, February 25, 2009 at 11:52:48 PM EST

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SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 08, 2009

For those of you who've known me a while - you know I'm not the biggest fan of Valentine's Day.  Bad stuff has happened around that date and of course there were the many, many Valentine holidays where I felt like a complete loser for having no one special in my life.

Yes, I now am happily in love with a someone special.  Meghan has definitely made this Hallmark holiday more bearable.  Even better, she totally understands my blah attitude towards V-day.  At the beginning of our relationship - we agreed to have one good first Valentine's Day and then be done with it.  However, we have managed to acknowledge it in a very low key way every year without going crazy over it like some do.  She loves the red and pink everywhere and I just can't completely ignore that.  :-)

My sentiment is shared by others for sure - I was talking to a coworker the other day and he too wasn't a fan.  Why is February 14th the day we feel like we "have to" express our love to someone?

Don't all the little and big things we do at any time of the year count?  Making a special meal on a random weekday night, getting their favorite type of soup when they are feeling under the weather, remembering they have a big meeting that day and texting them good luck or just listening to them about how their day went at work.  All those examples show and actually are acts of loving a person right?  What good does some expensive piece off jewelry do when you are inconsiderate the other 364 days of the year?

Also - it's a time for retailers to rip people off for stuff you can give any other day - i.e. flowers, chocolates, etc.  Especially for the last minute shoppers - mostly husbands and boyfriends (sorry guys but I see nothing but dudes at the grocery store the day OF trying to get their shit together) , they really get screwed.  These poor bastards wind up paying twice as much (or more) for a dozen roses that have maybe one day of life left in them!!!

I also have to comment that, given the economy as it stands now, how crappy is it to shell out some $$$ with Christmas/Hannukah/whatever you celebrate barely 2 months behind us.

It also kinda sucks if you just started seeing someone or just casually dating.  You don't want to do too much - to seem desperate or wanting to move the relationship along too fast.  However, you don't want to do too little so that you end up being that asshole who jeopardizes any chance of a relationship moving along.  For those folks - I say good luck.  That's too fine a line to play with.

I think it sucks and always will for single folk (which I was most of my life until my mid 20s).  It IS a super shitty day - you are reminded constantly of  all the gift giving that you get no part of (commercials on tv, radio, internet and the inevitable flowers being sent to the office). 

Also, if Valentine's Day is about love...shouldn't it celebrate all kinds of love?  The focus is so much on romantic love that it completely ignores all the other types of love we are blessed with.  WTF!

Shouldn't the love of your family and friends count too?  Where would you be without the love of your parents and siblings?  Your parents gave you life, raised you, fed you, clothed you and tried their best to make sure you weren't an asshole when you went out into the world on your own.  If you were lucky enough to have siblings (or in my case also having close cousins who were like siblings) they were your first playmates in the sandbox, and later the ones you could talk to when mom and dad weren't a comfortable option.

Friends in some ways become your family, especially when you move away from home or face issues that you can't talk to family about.  They are also the best ones to join forces with if you're all single.  I remember having or going to great dinner parties where I completely forgot about the bullshit holiday and had a fabulous time over some good food and wine.

With all this negative V-day babbling, yes, we will do something fun that day but it won't be anything we wouldn't do any other weekend and it won't cost a lot.  I just want to spend time with Meghan and that's something I want to do any day of the year.

For those of you who do like the holiday and participate in it ...Whatever you do to celebrate - be safe, be happy and have fun!

Peace!

Blogged by JePez on Sunday, February 08, 2009 at 6:00:03 PM EST

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WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2008

At this time of the year I can't help but reflect...about everything.

So, here's my last entry of the year...starting with all that I'm grateful for...

Meghan:  She is simply the best thing to ever happen to me and is the person I want to be with the rest of my life.  Recently, a few people have commented that they've never seen me so happy (and chilled out ha ha).  She is my love, my best friend, fave person to spend time with and the one who deals with me day in, day out!  :-)  I'm a lucky, lucky bird!

My family:  I know my parents, sister, cousins (who are like my brothers and sisters I don't get to see enough), aunts, uncles, etc. will always be there.  This is a comfort that I don't take lightly and think about everyday.  I have parents who support and accept me for me.  I have a sister who makes me laugh and keeps it real.  I also happen to have the most beautiful nieces and nephews in the world (see my pics & you will agree).

My friends:  I am so grateful for those who still include me in their lives from afar.  Keep the emails and pictures coming!!  I am also thankful for my friends here in the Bay Area.  I like phone calls, emails and chat but there is still nothing like sitting down with a friend to bullshit with or have a serious discussion about stuff that's bothering you.  I have come to appreciate a sincere "How are you?" as a sign of friendship and love.

One would expect to see a list of goals or resolutions for the new year.  However, I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.  For one - why can't you make goals for yourself anytime of the year?  And another - most people break them.  This only discourages them or makes them feel like they failed...enough that they give up.  Which is totally not the point. 

I do have goals and hopes for the new year but rarely share them.  I can say that I'm always striving to improve me and my relationships.

I thank you all for including me in your life this past year. 

First off, for my loved ones who had a difficult year - know that I'm always here for you.  I sincerely wish you a happy and healthy 2009.

I do look forward to hearing more from you all...finding your penguin (your love, soulmate, whatever - watch the movie March of the Penguins for the reference), getting hitched, your new home, the upcoming arrival of your offspring, kick ass job, travel adventures, etc.

I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Blogged by JePez on Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 2:53:09 PM EST

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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2008

So, unlike other people who blog with discipline, I actually needed to take a breath after all the Prop. 8 madness.

Needless to say I am disappointed that my beloved California acted like some fucking redneck state and voted for the Proposition.

I cried the night of the election and fought back more tears and emotion the next day at work.  With the help of a couple of good friends there - I was able to keep things together so my anger and sadness wouldn't affect my work.  I never even had to say what was wrong - they knew and were there to support me.

So...

Anyone who voted for Prop. 8, voted to discriminate against me plain and simple.  So, God forbid you are reading this AND you voted for it...FUCK YOU!  I don't have anything else to say other than that.

As for all of my friends and family who supported us with emails, IMs and phone calls of support after the results came in for this ridiculous proposition, THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU.  Your constant and unquestioning love has overwhelmed me.

It's easy to just throw your hands up and give up.  Something like this does make you feel little or less than the average...because you can't have something that you absolutely have a right to.

I needed some time to not read the news or even participate fully in the protests to repeal Prop. 8.  Today however, gave me some hope.

I was in the city, shopping for a dress for my dad's retirement party next week (I know last minute) and met a college friend for lunch who had gone earlier to the protest at the Civic Center in San Francisco (by the way, she is one of my super supportive straight friends and always has been).  When we left the restaurant for lunch - the protest had turned into a march which we joined for a half block or so.  We still needed to go our separate ways to do what we needed in the city, but it was nice to be among people who still gave a shit and still had fight in them...even if it was for 10 minutes.

I have accepted that I too am part of another wave of a civil rights movement and that this is one of many battles than have to happen.

Again, I thank my true friends and family that love me for all they've given me.  I will need it to keep the fire in me to get in the game and fight for my own right to marry.

Blogged by JePez on Saturday, November 15, 2008 at 11:39:22 PM EST

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THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23, 2008

For months I have resisted the urge to email my friends and family on an issue that will be on the November ballot.  I didn't want to bombard everyone with yet another message coming AT them...but I figure, this is my blog and I can say whatever the hell I want.

Proposition 8 would change the constitution such that marriage will be defined as only being between a man and woman...thus banning gay marriage in the state of California.

Clearly my position on this proposition is a NO.  I want to marry Meghan and have it be recognized not only by my loved ones, but the state as well.  I dont' want to do this unless it's legal and legit.

Sunday was a horrible day - I did more than my fair share of crying.  I found out that if Prop. 8 passes (which looks like it has gained ground) all same-sex marriages after November 4th (Election Day) would be invalid.  What did this mean?  We had to make a decision as to whether we should just go ahead with it in a rush before that date...or not.

Intellectually, this was tough to wrap my head around at 10am on a Sunday...but even more draining emotionally .  It just didn't feel right.  In my heart I knew didn't want it to be this way.  I know that whatever vision I had in my head about a wedding has been compromised over time but this was too much of a stretch.

I found myself looking online at possible dates and times for us to get the license and have a ceremony.  At the time, they only had the first couple days of THIS week open.  Did I really have to rush one of the most important events of my life and "book a time" like I was buying some f'n concert tickets I was afraid would sell out??

Whatever I had in my head about the day I would marry Meghan - all I knew was that I would be proud and ecstatic.  I had no clue where we would be married, who would perform the ceremony, what the ceremony would be like or where the party would be afterwards...but I knew that I would be over the moon happy to commit to the woman I love in front of my friends and family that truly support us.

I never envisioned having to tell people "Hey I'm getting married in a couple of days...sorry you can't be there but the party will be in the next year or so".  WTF!

I wanted tell our parents, friends and family and enjoy the same excitement that all of our married friends have had.  There was going to be a lot of saving $$ and planning to do for a set date when we too would get to exchange our vows.

I know people get married at a courthouse everyday for whatever reason and that's fine.  However, if I ever did go that route, I didn't want it to be in such a frantic rush because some bigots (and some uninformed people) were going to prevent me from getting married in less than 2 week's time.

I also thought it would, in a way, be disrespectful.  Not only to our parents who would maybe be able to get up here in time, but to our many friends and family members who have been so supportive.  I don't think I ever would have learned to accept and respect myself enough without the love of everyone around me.  Because of that love...I found MY love.

My life has never been the same since I met Meghan and I am grateful everyday.  No one has ever made me feel as unconditionally loved and as special as she has.  It's been such a journey to find me and then to find her - I believe we deserve to celebrate our union just like anyone else.

To be very clear, I've never wanted any special rights.  If gay people get married and then f&ck it up...then hell yeah we should have to suffer all the same shit that any other divorced couple has to endure.

Also, as much as I understand that, fundamentally, a couple who loves one another and between them vow to be together the rest of their lives ARE committed.  Somehow  though being "married" legitimizes a couple.  Right or wrong, that's how it is.  As dumb as it may sound to some - I want that legitimacy too.

Nonetheless, all this went through my head as I was crying trying to express to Meghan that as much as I love her and want to marry her... I didn't want to be married this way.  It was a painful decision and that pain has not subsided. 

I know that waiting to see if a Proposition will fail is a major gamble...but I also don't want to look back and feel as if someone else (those assholes who vote for the ban) tarnished the most important day of my life because I had to do it in a rush.

So what's this blog post all about?  Am I asking you to vote one way or another?  To be honest, I can't make myself actually type out the words to do that.  I tried just now and can't.  In the end it's your choice.

I guess I'm asking you to remember there are two who you care about that would be adversely affected by a Proposition that's hateful and doesn't make sense.

Peace,

Jen

Blogged by JePez on Thursday, October 23, 2008 at 12:37:56 AM EST

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THURSDAY, OCTOBER 09, 2008

"How are you?"  It's  phrase we all throw around whether it's over the phone, in person or in an email...as a greeting.  Ask yourself this...when was the last time you asked someone "How are you?" and meant it?

Yesterday there were 3 instances in which I was asked that question, or a variation of it.

1)  I got the flu shot at work because...why the hell not.  So, one of the questions the nurse (I think) asked was "How are you feeling today?".  This was the easiest one of all because I was able to quickly answer.."Okay."

2)  I had lunch with a coworker/friend and in the middle of it all she honestly asked "So what's up with you?".  There was no hidden agenda of hearing what I had to say to be polite, then moving on to her own stuff.  She seriously wanted to find out what's going on with my life...wanted to get to know me.  What a f'n concept???  Anyhow, it turns out this work buddy of mine is honestly interested in figuring out what makes me tick.  It was kinda refreshing and really made me think...

3)  My new boss started the other day and as part of his info gathering period - he's meeting with each person on his team individually.  Ahead of time he gave us some questions or talking points for the meeting.  Little did I know that the meeting wasn't ALL about business.  He literally had to stop me in the middle of my banter and say "Part of the reason of this meeting was to get to know you..."  I was so taken aback...I didn't know what to say.

I know all of this sounded a little silly but, as I mentioned before, it made me think.  The big question I came up with was...When was the last time someone really asked me how I was doing to find out...how I'm doing?

Blogged by JePez on Thursday, October 09, 2008 at 11:30:27 PM EST

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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2008

This has been an insanely crazy summer y'all!  My use of y'all will be explained...

We've done a fair bit of travelling and doing this and that the last month or so.

As I mentioned, we headed down to San Diego to attend the wedding for my dear cousin Russ to his long-time sweetheart Lizel.  It was a lot of fun and really nice to have the whole family together.

The next weekend we checked out Napa but were too sick to enjoy really - we just blew our nose and watched t.v. in our hotel room.  Then headed home to be sick there for the rest of Labor Day weekend! 

It didn't end there...Meghan and I both ended up taking off at least a day and a half off work...we are finally feeling better.  What sucked was how damn hot it was - how can you curl up when it's in the upper 80s/90s outside...without AC...ah...summer in the Bay Area.  Thanks God the heat wave stopped!!!

It was a good thing we got better...just in time for Meghan's birthday!!  It turned out to be a pretty good day.  We headed into the city for a matinee showing of Cabaret at the SF Playhouse.  Very small theatre so just about any sit is nice!  It was a very fun yet at the same time, sad musical.  You'd have to see it to understand why...I recommend you try to catch a production in your town.

Then, we met up with Char to grab some Teppan for dinner.  We tried Benihana in Japantown...a very interesting bus ride on the 38L.  SF Muni has its own built in entertainment...freaks galore!  Anyhow, the food was fantastic and Meghan was even seranaded with what we believe at first was a Japanese birthday song than the old school "Happy Birthday to you..."  She got the lucky cat as a souvenir mug!  It was a wonderful way to celebrate my lovely Meghan.  Happy Birthday dear!!

Which brings me to this week...I went to San Antonio to work our company's trade show booth!  This was very much an almost last minute trip - I only got all details worked out in the last couple weeks!  Unfortunately my sweetheart couldn't join me - too last minute and she was pretty slammed at work.

The trade show was pretty exhausting but a great experience - I actually enjoyed talking about the company and our products to the agents and brokers who came by the booth. My colleague Kevin was fun to work with - that dude can talk to anybody and everybody!!

San Antonio is pretty cool - the Riverwalk was beautiful and the people were friendly.  Kevin and I were barely there 48 hours and only got to check out the city for dinner in the evening.

Anyhow, we are looking forward to a relatively calm September.  I'm kinda of excited to answer (about my weekend plans)..."Oh, not much, just hanging out and getting some rest".  Boring but much needed!

Blogged by JePez on Friday, September 12, 2008 at 12:56:10 AM EST

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WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 2008

I completely forgot - the Olympics have been fun to watch for a other reasons...our degrees of separation from a couple of athletes! 

Amanda Beard - yes she's pretty to look at but, she is also a UofA alum (we think)!!  She was training at UofA while Meghan and I attended.  As a matter of fact - Meghan saw her at campus health one day and determined her degree of separation is 1!  Unfortunately Amanda did not make the finals of her event but it was cool to see her on t.v. anyway...later on in the stands cheering for Michael Phelps!

Kevin Tan - captain of the US Men's Gymnastics team.  Kevin is our dentist's (Dr. Hui) nephew!  Not like distant nephew but his sister's son!  Kevin barely missed getting to the ring finals with a wicked strong routine but will be taking home a bronze to the Bay Area.

Anyhow - I will likely miss all the fanfare at the end of the Olympics because of another wonderful event...my cousin Russ will be marrying  his sweetheart Lizel in San Diego.  Welcome to the family girl!!

Blogged by on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 12:41:32 AM EST

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WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 20, 2008

So I really didn't get enough sleep because I was up  watching all of the prime time coverage for the first few nights of the Olympics.

By last Wednesday or Thursday night however, I couldn't hang and missed some good stuff.  I'm usually really into the gymnastics but of course when the US goes 1-2 in the women's individual all around I'm snoozin.  Congrats to the two ladies who made us proud...at least they were of age.

Which brings me to my first rant...the alleged under-aged Chinese gymnasts.  When I finally caught a bit more of the gymnastics action...my first reaction was...is that girl 10 years old??  Rules are that you need to turn 16 in the same calendar year of the Olympics.  But apparently these chicks have "legit" ids.  Yeah - I don't think so...

I am someone who believes that age isn't a thang (yeah I spelled that the way I wanted).  If you are good at what you do and you happen to be a youngin then fine.  However, if there are rules, the f'n follow them - or else your victory is bullshit.  Nonetheless, I guess if they are going to get away with it then I guess that's how they roll.

Moving on...

I didn't know much about the Michael Phelps dude before last week but damn - he is freakin' amazing!!  He not only won the 8 gold medals last week...but in some instances CRUSHED the others.  I had no idea I'd have to much fun watching the overwhelming favorite - since I like to cheer for underdogs.

One thing I can say I feel missing - are all the stories or features on the athletes.  I liked hearing about the struggles and triumphs that led to their moment to shine for those 10 seconds on the track or 57.32 seconds in the pool.  I guess if you can upload everything on earth online then I guess you don't need to waste air time.

Also, it took me forever to find a good website to get all my Olympic updates.  I was so frustrated using cnn.com, espn.com, Yahoo! and Google news to get good, organized Olympic news I almost gave up.  However, my coworker showed me www.nbcolympics.com and all is right with the world.

Anyhow - enough of my b.s. there is still more to watch!!

Blogged by on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 at 12:22:53 AM EST

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SATURDAY, AUGUST 09, 2008

I know it's only August 1st but already we are wearing sweaters when we walk out of the apartment in the mornings!  Before we know it - we'll be freezing our asses off in the rain...we can't wait!  :-)

It still is summer and this year we a little something extra...the Olympics!!!!

For those of you who don't know - this is my addiction every two years - thanks to the change 14 years ago when the Summer and Winter Olympics parted ways no longer sharing the spotlight in the same year.

In these two weeks I am glued to the t.v. giving a shit about every competition - even if I've never watched the sport in my entire life.

I do have my favorites:

1)  Gymnastics because I never have or will be able to do any of it

2)  Swimming because I'm a horrible swimmer and admire those who can do so faster than I can run

3)  Track and Field because there is so much going on on the field - perfect for my short attention span

4)  Tennis because it's cool to see individuals play as part of their country's team.

Anyhow, I hope you join me in marvelling at the athleticism and spirit of the Olympic Games!!

Blogged by JePez on Saturday, August 09, 2008 at 1:10:29 AM EST

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SUNDAY, JULY 06, 2008

At the beginning of June Meghan was sent to Chicago for a conference/training. I went out there the day after she left to join her and enjoy the city too!

Chicago is such a great town. I had been there before but I was able to enjoy myself...how could I not!

I was by myself for a little bit of the trip so I walked to Magnificent Mile and marvelled at the beautiful architecture.  

On Friday evening we hung out for a bit with my coworker who was transferred to our Chicago office.  At the happy hour I met the nice folks at the parent company - where we go a great recommendation for a deep dish pizza for  dinner.

Later that night we hit up Navy Pier and took a little evening cruise around the bay. Saturday we went to the Fields Museum and the very awesome Shedd Aquarium.

I was grateful and Meghan & her coworker Linh let me tag along on this trip.  Thanks ladies!

Blogged by on Sunday, July 06, 2008 at 11:38:55 PM EST

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SUNDAY, JULY 06, 2008

March 2008:  Shortly after she recovered from the bad, bad bug that hit her, Meghan started training for the Genentech Climb on March 29th.  Before going to work she would get up at 5am on as many mornings as she could so she could go on a 2-3 mile walk plus going up and down a set of killer stairs a few times. The climb was to raise money for cancer research. I was very proud to see Meghan triumphantly come to the top floor after climbing over 1100 steps!!  As Meghan says...she "kicked cancer's ass" in loving memory of her father. Thanks to all our friends and family who contributed to this worthy cause and to support Meghan.

April 2008:  Meghan and I celebrated 5 years together. Sometimes it seems like we found each other not too long ago. I can't imagine what my life was like without her and am grateful everyday for the special gift God gave me.

This was also the month that Meghan got out of her crappy, crappy job and landed a kickass job as a Clinical Research Coordinator for the Bay Area Research Institute. BARI specialized in running clinical trials for new treatments for ADHD, Alzheimer's, depression, and other conditions.

We also visited her mom in Phoenix who was very kind to take us around and help Meghan get a professional wardrobe together. The weather was pretty good and it was nice to have a chill weekend to hang with her mom.

May 2008: I found out my cousin Des married her long-time boyfriend Carlo (who is funny and is a good guy). They have a cute, wonderful daughter, Makayla. Both have been great additions to our family.

My cousin Chris and his wife Irma were very thoughtful to come up with a way to celebrate...a wine tasting tour! Irma did an awesome job researching and organizing for all of the cousins to celebrate Des and Carlo's marriage.

Everyone had a great time and what was really cool was that I got to bring Meghan along to meet the cousins I've talked about for so long and miss very much. They were nothing but wonderful and made her feel welcome.

More importantly it was a nice way to celebrate two people who belong together and still make each other laugh. Congrats Des and Carlo!!

Blogged by JePez on Sunday, July 06, 2008 at 10:17:15 PM EST

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SUNDAY, JULY 06, 2008

December 2007: I rolled down the Pismo Beach area to celebrate Cathy's 30th birthday - good times and a lot of booze. We went to 4 different wineries and kept going until dinner. The drive back was painful but worth it.

The holidays came and went - I couldn't take much time off so unfortunately had to roll back home on the 26th. That was quite weird - no one was at work. It turns out I wouldn't be either - I got pretty sick just before the New Year's weekend. I had a fever of about 102!!

January 2008: Both of our schedules had been a little screwy since Meghan sometimes had to work weekends or at least one day of the weekend. We at least got one weekend to visit our good friends Chip and Audrey in Monterey. They are such a fun couple and it was nice to hit up the Aquarium and drink a bit (hehe) of wine with them.

February 2008:  Late January and into early the next month, Meghan unfortunately got some horrible virus. She had not been that sick in a long time! I was very concerned but glad that my employer was so flexible with letting me leave early or leave for a couple ours to pick Meghan up to take her home (she dragged herself to work at least 2 days that week only to get sent back home).

Blogged by JePez on Sunday, July 06, 2008 at 10:14:47 PM EST

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SUNDAY, JULY 06, 2008

September 2007: Meghan started her job at the Blood Centers of the Pacific as a lab technician. While this job certainly did not turn out to be the dream job a graduate would want - she toughed it out and kept going until her next gig (to be mentioned later).

October 2007: We attended the wedding of our good friends Rick and Karena. The ceremony and reception were great. The bride and groom as happy and beautiful as ever! It was also a nice reunion with folks Karena and I went to business school ith.

November 2007: We visited our wonderful friend Nivedita in Austin, TX where she is very happy and in her element (she's a Cowboys fan and likes warm weather). It was so nice to see this great town with our buddy. We even met Padma Lakshmi (Top Chef hostess) at a book fair near the capital building.

My parents were going out of town the day after T-day so instead of rolling down to San Diego for the holiday - my sis and I visited the weekend before for our dad's birthday.

Also, Meghan had to work so, this resulted in us celebrating our first Thanksgiving together. We made a great holiday meal complete with all a roasted turkey breast (we don't need to have THAT much leftover), mashed potatoes, veggies, etc. Our Ading Charlene joined us for the meal and even provided dessert!

Blogged by JePez on Sunday, July 06, 2008 at 10:14:01 PM EST

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SUNDAY, JULY 06, 2008

In yet another attempt to blog for real, following are some "catch-up" posts for what's been going on with me in the last year.

Thanks Keith for inspiring me to get this going again!

Blogged by JePez on Sunday, July 06, 2008 at 7:11:58 PM EST

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SATURDAY, JULY 28, 2007

So I've been back in California for more than 4 months now and I have to say..it's nice to be home!

Not for one minute did I ever disparage the state of California.  I've always stuck up for the Golden State whenever someone made a remark about the people, culture, etc.

Living in Arizona I've missed the great mix of people that I grew up with an expected in just about any situation whether it be at work, school or simply walking down the street!  I love the fact that I can hear anywhere from 2-4 different languages spoken while on a 10 minute BART ride to work.

The food - my goodness do I miss the variety of food available to me.  Not only different cuisines but the abundance of fresh produce - if you are lucky at a reasonable cost!!!

I think the one thing that has had me going towards the goal of living in California again is the more laid back attitude about SOME issues.  I won't get into those here but I hated the  conservative slant I encountered too much of in Arizona.  It was more than religion it was just this way of thinking...like 25 years ago.

Nonetheless, I do not in any way, shape, or form think people should just stay where they are.  Californians should go out there and live other places even if it's for a summer.  We can find wonderful vacation hotspots or ideal places to retire later in life.  We also can debunk the myth that we are all blond, tanned surfers.  Seriously, I can't tell you how many people assume that I knew how to surf or that I hung out at the beach a lot...those damn 1950s surfer movies!!

Anyhow, it's nice to be home and I'm not going anywhere soon!!!

Blogged by JePez on Saturday, July 28, 2007 at 12:23:00 AM EST

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TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 01, 2005

This is a great space to just say whatever.  You know - bitch, complain, make my silly observations, etc.  So welcome to what's inside my head - a scary place it can be!

Blogged by JePez on Tuesday, November 01, 2005 at 10:18:34 AM EST

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